Caregiving Part 2: Where is it on the National scene?

Get ready.   I will be talking about politics—a taboo subject for me.

As I said in Part 1, a caregiver is anyone who gives care to another whether for pay or not.   By that definition—parents, siblings, other relatives, friends, nurses, doctors, morticians, clergymen, teachers, writers, politicians, policemen, fire fighters, social workers, therapists of mind or body, trainers, counselors, lawyers, actors, etc.—nearly everybody gives care of some type.

I’ve never cared much for politics.  Most of my life in elections, I’ve voted for what seemed like the lesser of two evils.  But I did vote!   I felt Jimmy Carter was a good example of what a U.S. President should be because he tried to bring the nation together and avoid divisiveness. To this day, he and his wife are still doing good for those in need—what a caregiver does.

I have to say that President 45 was the polar opposite.   Once you “won” the election, 45, did you bother to do research to find out what people’s needs are—even the people in your own base? Whether the 49 Senate Republicans who voted for removing him by impeachment the first time really were serious or it was just for show, I like to think that there are still some thinking women and men among Republicans.

Although it’s been said that Russia interfered with our voting in 2016, America, you knew who President 45 was—dishonest, dishonorable—before you picked him from the other much more capable and experienced Republican candidates in the debates.  Had you done right, he would have never been among the candidates.

The ”man” cares for no one, ever, or he wouldn’t have done the things he did over the past 5 years.   You knew he was incapable of handling money at all.   He owes money to everybody and pays no one.  You knew, or should have known, that President 45 had at least five bankruptcies;  that he demeaned women and people of color every chance he got.   Why do you think there are women with 26 or more sexual claims against him?  Would you have wanted him around your young girls and women?   You knew and your actions show that you wanted slavery of people of color to be re-established.   Otherwise, most of you Republicans, why would you drink the poison consistently for five years?

Some white people who voted for President 45 said on newscasts, “What was I thinking?”.   Obviously, you had a taste of the poison drink.   And, from day one of the last five years, he broke every law and Presidential tradition there was.  Checks and balances can’t really occur when everybody you appoint is someone who only donated to your campaign or was just one of your unqualified “friends” that you constantly fired. 

But, you who were still worthy Republicans and Democrats couldn’t break the same rules he broke or 45 and Fox and Friends (entertainment show) would cry, whine, fall on the ground, throw tantrums and say Snoop Dogg should have been killed for making fun of 45 in a video or blackballed Kathy Griffin for doing worse in a video or other newscasters who were fired for telling the truth about President 45 or had an NFL football player fired for kneeling during the National Anthem.  Killing an Iranian general was just another tactic to start a war so 45 couldn’t be put out of office as a war-time President.   President 45 tried every gimmick in his playbook to stay in office a second term.

And citizens and non-citizens became victims of political insanity in the fight against disease, homelessness, unemployment, injustice, business loss, and prejudice.   His illegal dealings and actions made a laughingstock out of the United States around the world and he alienated every ally we’ve ever had.   Even his own state, New York, didn’t want him there.    And, poor Mar-a-lago Club in Palm Beach, Florida, is probably being bankrupted by his constant golfing and security expenses for the past 5 years.  

We didn’t even get the crumbs from the table.  President 45 ordered hundreds of refugees’ children in cages while we don’t know where their parents are to this day.  And, several female women and children disappeared during that time.   Were they lost to international sex trafficking?   The better solution would have been to keep the children with their parents while organizing a solution to the problem.    It’s time for the good gals/guys in both parties to stop following the rules 45 never followed, grow a pair, and make sure he never comes back.

 Certain politicians on both sides (Democrat and Republican) are multimillionaires and looking out for their own Wall Street interests.    So, of course, they are looking to help other millionaires avoid taxes and make more money.    

Then, there’s the filibuster tool used by the Senate.   Was there ever a bigger time waster/bull shit tosser when the American people are suffering in every way possible?  Business as usual you say?   I watched Trevor Noah’s If You Didn’t Know, Now You Know episode on his Daily Social Distancing Show on March 18 in which he explained what a filibuster was.   Originally it was started to keep debate open, but I feel that debate should stop when you have run out of things to prove your point and just vote!  I thought the job of a public servant was to care for all our American people.   Obviously, we don’t have enough public servants.

But, it appears that we as a nation have adopted John Wycliffe’s (c.1380) Charity should begin at himself.   It appears that President 45 took that literally.   Did he do anything for his base?   His base seems to think that he did, but they couldn’t tell you what that was.   Where’s the money he collected for himself from the Saudi Arabian arms deal?   Why was the American journalist cut up? 

Did he bring manufacturing back?   He can’t count the temporary manufacturing that Ford and other companies did making ventilators and other personal protective devices during the pandemic.  Dude, they still manufacture cars which they have no problem selling in a pandemic since they didn’t have to close like restaurants and other small businesses had to.  Car dealerships staying open sell cars to the well-to-do.   President 45 tried to talk Harley Davidson into keeping their manufacturing in the U.S.  But, even that fell through because the trend of companies to move to other countries so they can pay workers less will never stop.  Where is Harley Davidson now?   Not in the U.S.

On March 5, 2020, I heard President 45 say that the COVID-19 virus was a Democratic hoax.   A week later, on March 15, he conceded that the virus was real.  Right now, no longer in office, he boasts about how fast he got those vaccine companies to produce vaccines.   Yes, after putzing around for a few valuable months and coming up with quackery in the form of his advice to insert ultraviolet light under the skin, swallow disinfect, sunshine/heat would get rid of the virus, he wasn’t going to wear a mask, etc.

The last lie—President 45 told his base to go to the Capitol Building, and he would go with them.   Some of the crowd waited patiently for him.   Others still waited for him to keep his word.   But he waited and watched to see what the crowd that he, his son and Giuliani sent there would do.   I know he was laughing the whole time watching the coup he caused—bloodshed, bodily harm, damage to government property, possible kidnappings, etc.  

How come the President and the Republicans did not come out and join their base—the people they claim to represent?   Why did the Republicans run and hide just like the Democrats did?  Yes, the Capitol Building and the White House belong to the people of the U.S., but even they don’t have the right to destroy it and the people within.

Although a U.S. President gets paid to be a caregiver, 45 never earned his money.   But he counted his money, all the while scheming where he would get more!   Even people on welfare, disability, social security, etc. sent him a big hunk of their money.   What did they get in return?   More talk and more poison drink.

Republicans who backed his every little whim for the past 5 years forgot they were supposed to be caregivers for ALL of the American people including the military, the CIA, the FBI, medical workers, medical research, fire department, police, etc.—all U.S. and future U.S. people.      Republicans said they didn’t want to help those unemployed who can still work.  Where were they going to work in a national shut-in?   Amazon, McDonald’s, car companies, etc. can’t hire everybody.

In the crowd of people outside the Capitol on January 6, 2021, I saw millions of dollars in 45 paraphernalia and merchandising that benefited 45.  If those same people had used that money to benefit their families, think what they could have bought instead—food, clothing, paid bills, car, etc.   Remember, he as a care giver is supposed to be taking care of us all, especially you, his base.

In the Twilight Zone movie (1983), a racist white man (played by deceased Vic Morrow) was put into a situation where he is bundled onto a train taking him to a Jewish internment camp.  Everybody sees him as a fellow Jew which he denies.   What if you were seen as every race you despise?   What then?  

Written by Rosa L. Griffin

The Good Enough Life

Editor’s Note, “Wanting What You’ve Got”, p. 5.

“Acceptance is not acquiescence.  Acquiescence is quiet, desperate defeat.  Acceptance is the ability to distinguish between a want and a need, and to abjure [solemnly renounce] the former.

My husband wants a sienna-tiled villa hanging off an Amalfi cliff, with a yellow Porsche and a green Ferrari in the garage.  (I just want the house.)  But he concedes that he does not need it.  In fact, it would be a hassle to actually own it all.  Acceptance sheds the need.   Acquiescence is not wanting to let go of the need and doing so only reluctantly.

To pursue the good-enough life is to accept imperfection, not to acquiesce to terms that make one miserable.

From the Stoics to some of the best cognitive behavioral techniques of the 20th and 21 centuries, we are reminded of the importance of acceptance.

If we choose our battles well, if we frame the immutable as trade-off rather than dead-end, if we find that one talent rather than rue the ones we will never acquire, then ‘good enough’ is indeed the best path forward.”   Twitter: @KajaPerina

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You Are Good Enough, p.26

“You were not at the top of the class, not the employee of the month, nor are you the ‘10’ you think your partner wants.   But you are probably pretty spectacular in some way, and definitely good enough in most areas of life.  If ever there were a time to stop beating yourself up for being human, it is now.”

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The Good-Enough Partner:  When Your Partner Is Not Your Romantic Ideal, by Aaron Ben-Zeév, Ph.D., p.45

“Having a good enough partner implies making some compromises that are contrary to romance.

Enough can be defined as ‘as much as necessary.’  In ideal love, enough is not enough, and you cannot get enough of your partner—the better she [or he] is, the more you want.   Nevertheless, some people are not fortunate enough to have even a ‘good-enough’ partner—they might have a ‘just-enough’ partner or a ‘barely enough’ partner.   Consequently, many people settle for a partner who is no good for them at all. 

This becomes more complex, as someone who initially seems barely good enough can end up being the most suitable partner.  A nicer-looking wealthier woman might not be good for you if her values and attitude do not jibe with yours.  In short, constant comparison is lethal. 

We do not expect Mr. Right to fulfill all our needs, as some of these needs are fulfilled by us, ourselves.   As in the story of the pot of gold buried in the garden, sometimes the treasure can be found right at home.”

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How to Polish Your Personality:  …Change starts with a critical assessment of your traits and whether they work well for you—or don’t.  By Grant H. Brenner, M.D., pp.46-53.

“Katherine was grappling with a problem of identity, a problem, that, I find, is much more common today than is generally recognized.  Who she really was had been suppressed for years, in part due to her sense of duty, in part to her desire to please others, and in part to worries about what would happen if she did not conform.  Yet she never completely forgot who she was.

When the circumstances of her life and marriage changed, the authentic needs and personality traits she had long downplayed took on new importance.  She now had more opportunities and the freedom to pursue them.   The awareness of mortality can be clarifying.  It drives a lot of our decisions.”

Source: Psychology Today, psychologytoday.com, March/April 2021.

Submitted by Rosa L. Griffin